paths.....

Associate of Science degree in Biotechnology


orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........


Associate of Applied Sciences Degree in Photography and Film Communications?

i found my old xanga.

i looked through some of the posts and i kind of liked this one:


"affluence doesn't make you a better person. it just means you're luckier than the rest of us. i am not my circumstances. i am not my feelings, thoughts, or problems. i am not the house i live in, the car i drive, the job i have, or the college i go to. i am not my intelligence. i am not my vocabulary. i am not my ability or strength. i am not even my body. it is not my fault i was given the mind that i have. all i can do is try. it doesn't matter that it doesn't show on the outside. as long as i am trying on the inside in everything i do, I will matter as long as i am breathing. i am me. i am my heart and soul. maybe if i keep telling myself these things, i will eventually be good enough for me. i just wish i wouldn't let you unravel everything i stand on every time i talk to you. you tear me apart without even trying. and i don't think you're aware of it at all."



i don't remember writing that at ALL. and i have no idea who the last part is about. it was like 3 or 4 years ago.

everyone is graduating and getting married. actually i guess it's been a perpetual season of weddings ever since i graduated so i guess it's nothing new. it just seems like a lot of people lately because micaela, rebekah, and my dad are all getting married this summer/fall. i'm a bridesmaid in rebekah's, the videographer for micaela's, and i'm playing flute for my dad's.

what if i was a singer? or a photographer? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. delicious.

i wrote evan a letter today and printed out some pictures to send. i wonder if he got to talk to his madre today. they only get to talk to their families on mother's day and chirstmas day. i'd probably die.

it was my dad's birthday yesterday and it's my little sister's birthday tomorrow. and it's mother's day today. i guess i better get to calling people asap.



PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. peace.

bears. beets. battlestar gallactica.

i am completely fed up with my stomach. entirely. i've decided i will be ripping it out of my body tonight with the help of bears. or sharks. whichever wanders into the vicinity of my front door first. i'll let them rip my entire GI tract to shreds. everything except the taste buds. those little guys can stay for when i happen upon treats that are in need of tasting. tasting but not ingesting! because ingesting virtually anything causes pain later. i ate FRUIT AND VEGETABLES AND BOILED EGGS FOR LUNCH for fucketty sake.... yet i still somehow managed to get so sick that i had to go home from work early completely humiliated. penny had to help me to aisha's car so she could drive me the 200 foot distance back to my apartment because my legs decided to be asses and suck at walking. thank god i didn't puke in the store or in her car. my boss ashly said i need to take care of myself and go to the doctor so i can get better. well i thought i was doing much better at taking care of myself but apparently it's not good enough for my stomach. and as for doctor-y things....... i think the only way my parents would help me pay for any of that shit is if i moved back home. which would make me completely depressed and feel like even more of a failure.


but there is some good news. paychecks are always good news, right?? micaela still wants me to be the videographer for her wedding so that's good. dad wants me to play flute at his wedding so that's good. i am slowly losing weight because of the tummy thing so that's good. and last but definitely not least, i have josh. and he is far more than anything i could have asked for in a best friend and a boyfriend. EXTREME goodness right there.


my birthday is in less than a month. 22 years woot woot. i can't belive i just wrote that word i hate a little bit. woot. sounds like a backwards owl.


apparently the last scrubs ever was on tonight. did anybody see it?


i'm gonna go lie down before i die some more. sorry for all the bitchage.

Got that tupper feeling!

so i went to a tupperware party last night with my good friend matthew and his boyfriend david. but this particular tupperware party was hosted by a drag queen named Dixie Longate (hahahaahahaaaaaaaaa) and required the purchase of a $30 ticket which i had no money to buy. but i made a decision to go anyway. so i now owe david $30 for the first and best tupperware party i've ever had the pleasure of attending. it was hilarious. she turned everything into a sexual innuendo and made the old men in the audience feel quite uncomfortable which was AWESOME. she called people in the audience whores too. she called this one guy a whore after she embarassed him cos he couldn't use the can opener on stage. i kind of felt sorry for him but it was funny for the rest of us. she's got a myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/dixielongate

yum yum. i kept forgetting she was really a man which was cool.

my dad is getting married apparently. i found this out the other day. i only found out a few weeks before that that he was even dating a new person. the last time i checked he was engaged to this 29 year old. he's 53. or will be in like 2 weeks. but my mom found his new fiancee on facebook and said she looked really young. my dad let me talk to her on the phone and she definitely sounded not much older than me. he said she was a grad student. he said the wedding is this fall.

i have a really funny video of my friends that i wish to post online and since they forbade (had forbidden? meh. whatever.) me to post it on facebook, i wonder if anyone would care if i posted it on here. it's just them piled on top of each other in the back of josh's car. i think i'm gonna upload it. if i can figure out how. READY GO!

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

i started my first real day at firehouse today. my back and feet hurt so bad i can't walk at all. i've been limping/crawling/wallowing everywhere. i must be in terrible shape because my 59 year old mother runs around a hospital all day not once sitting down for 12 hours and she survives, but i can't seem to recover from a 7 hour shift at a sandwich shop? wow. my body is worse off than i feared. i almost passed out a few times because we're not allowed to have breaks and if i don't eat every 3 or 4 hours i kind of feel a little like i'm going to fall into a narcoleptic-type sleeping fit right and vomit simultaneously. not fun.

i really only started this blog so that i could follow some people but carol and josh prodded me to write something. so i decided that maybe typing would distract me from the AGONYYYYY. i don't think i would mind quite so much if i didn't have to be at work right at 9:30 for another 5 and a half hour shift. the earliest i ever had to be at subway was 11. on rare occasions it was 10:30.

see children? this is why i do not write in blogs. i always end up bitching about something. such a negative nancy. maybe my back is giving me the grumpies. i've never had any backpain before so this is a first. it kind of feels like it's going all the way to my hips and brain and stomach. strange...

there is a girl at work who reminds me of my dear friend evelyn. she's so tiny and fierce and asian. her name is penny. it's so fitting and adorable i just want to pick her up! i want to make her and evelyn stand next to each other and dance. or braid each other's hair. or set chopsticks on fire and juggle with them. that's what all good asians do, right?

i've been reading the 2nd twilight book, new moon, and i've been enjoying every teenagery-lovey-dovey-broken-hearted page of it. even though i had to get it from the children's section (i have no idea why it was categorized there, i guess they don't have a young adult section) of the auburn public library it was absolutely worth it. josh even walked back there with me. i bet we looked quite comical with me having too large of boobs for a teenager and him being eleventy billion feet tall and bearded. and dead sexy. but he didn't make fun of me at all even though i'm sure he was on the inside. :)

wellllllllll my tummy is grumbly and sitting here is making my back worse. i'll try to upload pictures next time. joshy got a haircut and so did i. maybe i'll post before and after pictures. i sure do miss my camera......


poops.